Grieve the Child You Thought You Would Have....

OK so I joined this group on Facebook for women whose children have a seizure disorder! This young woman was asking for advise. Her 3 yr old daughter has been having unspecified seizures. She was asking "why her, why her daughter and why won't the seizures stop."

One lady said to her: "I read a book once that said you almost have to grieve the child you thought you would have to be able to continue raising the one you do have."

I am sorry, BUT I almost fell out of my chair. I had to answer her. I could not let that woman give this girl advise like this. It was bothering me for about 30 min....than I wrote her back.

I told both of them: "How can you grieve the baby God gave you ... so you can raise the child you have???? Like Pastor Ned said: God loaned these children to us. They are who they are. They were meant to be this way." Lillian was given to me, because our Lord knows that I am the only person that can take care of her.

Is that something people want to hear "NO." Did I want to hear that my daughter has Aicardi Syndrome...NO....but am I going to grieve her, because she is not like my 4 year old daughter just so I can go on with my life? Absolutely NOT. I am going to LOVE her for who she is....even when it's one of them days...when I just want to yank my hair out (or somebody else's for that matter.)

How can one say that...or believe it..or even worse..give somebody else advise like that. It infuriates me...it makes me sad..it almost makes me want to cry.

Lilly is my child... always will be. She is who she is...and always will be. She will never be like her sister...she will be unique in her own little way.

She will always be "THE ONE, THE ONLY MAGNIFICENT LILLY!